


Where There Was Fire, Ashes Remain

by animos



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Caleb Need a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Nott Needs a Hug, post episode 7, they get their hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 21:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13796943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animos/pseuds/animos
Summary: Caleb dreamed of fire.The blaze twisted and roared like a rabid animal, clawing at anything within range. Glass shattered and he heard wood and even stone crack from the intense heat as the fire engulfed the entire building.He could just make out their forms through the swirling vortex of smoke and flames.Set after Episode 7 and the aftermath of Caleb's breakdown.





	Where There Was Fire, Ashes Remain

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for Critical Role! Nott and Caleb have the most adorable relationship and after the emotional events of Episode 7 I just had to write this little bit.

_Caleb dreamed of fire._

_The blaze twisted and roared like a rabid animal, clawing at anything within range. Glass shattered and he heard wood and even stone crack from the intense heat as the fire engulfed the entire building._

_He could just make out their forms through the swirling vortex of smoke and flames._

_He tried, oh gods he tried, to run in and save them but the both the blistering heat and his own damn cowardice kept him at bay._

_He could do nothing but watch in horror as the flames climbed higher and consumed those trapped inside._

_Over the roaring flames he could hear them_ **_screaming_ ** _. They were yelling for help, shouting his name, calling out for him to do something but-_

 

Caleb woke with a gasp and immediately gagged at the taste of ash in his mouth. A small, warm shape stirred next to his side.

“Caleb? Are you okay?” Nott asked carefully, peering up with her large yellow eyes that reflected the little bit of moonlight that filtered into the dark room. He remembered a time when such a sight would have startled him but now he only felt warm affection for the little goblin that showed such concern for him.

He wanted to give her a smile and say he was okay, but when he tried to open his mouth to speak it was like he inhaled a cloud of smoke. A horrible, hacking cough took over him and he could do little more except curl in on himself as he struggled for breath. He coughed until his lungs ached and tears filled his eyes from the strain. He coughed as though he could dislodge that awful, horrible _guilt_ that seemed to have nestled in his chest and wrapped around his heart.

“C-Caleb!” Nott was now standing up in the bed and frantic, pulling at his shoulders to try to get him to sit upright for easier breathing.

She clawed at his back, awkwardly smacking it to try and help with anything that might be stuck. But this wasn’t something physical that could be easily dispelled. He hunched over and closed his eyes, images from dream and memory blurring.

 _Her small form getting torn apart by those horrible teeth, her blood dripping from its fangs and splattering across the stone floor, and he was too far away to do anything, useless he just watched as those bodies writhed in agony and_ **_burned_ ** _._

A gentle squeeze of his hand brought him back to the present, Caleb hadn’t even noticed Nott crawl into his lap but the same touch she used to bring him out of his trances when using Frumpkin’s eyes had grounded him enough.

He bowed his head and pressed his lips to the top of Nott’s head in silent thanks. Though her hair was coarse and greasy, it smelled of moss and dirt and sweat, driving the lingering scent of smoke and burning flesh from his mind.

He coughed a few more times but the spasm that had overtaken him receded and for the first time he was able to breathe freely as he wrapped his arms around Nott. Dear, precious, Nott who was alive and whole. The two simply sat there for a few moments as Caleb drew in comfort from her presence.

Distantly he was thankful they had roomed alone tonight. During the celebration, Bryce had arranged for nicer accommodations with enough beds for all split between 3 separate rooms. Caleb had quickly excused himself from the party, unable to deal with the company of others and their words of thanks as memories of smoke and ash continued to plague him. He had encouraged Nott to stay and enjoy herself however, he must have already fallen into a fitful sleep when the sneaky little rogue and slipped into the room and next to his side.  

Finally Nott broke the silence. “Are you okay now? Should I get Jester?” She asked nervously, though she only snuggled up closer to Caleb’s side and returned his hug.

“N-nein, danke.” His voice was still hoarse, like he had swallowed gravel. He cleared his throat and remembered to switch from Zemnian. “I’m sorry for worrying you. And waking you up.”

She shifted a bit in his hold. “Wasn’t sleeping much anyways.” And Caleb feels his heart clench at that small, craggily voice.

She had been through so much the last two days and Caleb hadn’t been there for her like he should have. Hell, he hadn’t even realized Nott had gone down and been so seriously injured during their first gnoll fight in Alfield until well after Jester had healed her. He had been to busy cowering behind a damn barrel, trying to control his rising panic to even know.

He had seen the second time all too clearly, down in the mines, facing that manticore… he had been able to do little more than watch as that beast had nearly ripped her to shreds. Useless. Again and again, his own cowardice kept him alive to watch as others suffered and died.

“I’m sorry Leibling, so sorry.” A few tears fell and soaked into Nott’s grimy hair. “I failed you Nott, I couldn’t keep you safe.” She must have felt the wetness and turned to face him, tears forming in her own golden eyes. She wrapped her arms around his neck, careful of her claws so near soft flesh though he had full trust in her to not scratch him, and pulled him in closer.

“No, it’s my fault! I wasn’t fast enough or clever enough to keep from getting hit! ‘M sorry Caleb!”

Caleb returned the hug, noticing the slight tremor in her small, bony shoulders. “You were wonderful Leibling, without you I’m sure we all would have fared far worse.”

She sniffled a few times. “But you still got hurt! You moved closer to the fight because of me and then I didn’t even see that priest cast anything on you!”

_Oh…_

Caleb spoke slowly, choosing his words with care. “You did nothing wrong. It wasn’t the priest that did that to me, I-I have some things... I’d rather not remember most of the time. One of those memories came back to me and pulled me down to a dark place for a while.”

Nott just nodded in understanding. Though they had been traveling together for months and gone through so much, there was much from their pasts before meeting that they still kept to themselves. They had learned to dance around one another’s ghosts.

“Still, you should have stayed back where it was safe Caleb.” Her voice grew quieter. “I don’t like seeing you get hurt.”

He sighed and closed his eyes. “Oh Nott, I feel the same for you.” Memories of her blood splattering the stone floor flashed briefly through his mind and he suppressed a shudder. “Let’s make a deal, Ja? We’ll both do better. To stay out of trouble and watch each other’s backs.”

“I will Caleb! I’ll learn more magic and get better, so I can keep you safe!” She nodded to emphasize her point.

Not for the first Caleb wondered how he ever deserved such devotion.

“We’ll both do better, zusammen. Together. I can help you with your spell work and maybe you can teach me some clever tricks to avoid getting hit, hmm?”

Though really Nott had proven to be a natural at magic. Though she didn’t care for the theories and general principles behind the spells, she had a knack for picking things up quickly after just a few demonstrations from Caleb. But he’d do whatever he could to help keep her alive and safe.

He would not fail this time, not with her.

Nott yawned and Caleb realized just how late it really was. “We should try to get some more sleep, Kleines.”

She just nodded and fought back another yawn as they shuffled their positions once more to be lying down, Nott snuggled up again to Caleb’s side. Already her eyes and ears were drooping and Caleb couldn’t help but find the sight of her wilted ears hanging low to be adorable.

“We can get you some books tomorrow, the gold I gave you should get a few.” She said sleepily. “You’ll feel better with some new books to read, right?” Caleb just nodded and pulled the blankets up to cover her better. Her breathing soon evened out and she laid still beside him.

Caleb felt his own body grow heavy as sleep came for him as well. Carefully to avoid disturbing her, he pulled her in closer and closed his eyes and drifted to sleep, his dreams untroubled for the rest of the night.

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to keep the dream/flashback parts vague since we don't know exactly what happened to Caleb, though I'm looking forward to finding out. 
> 
> I love poor Nott and Caleb, they deserve all the hugs!


End file.
